A non-aerobic exercise in futility

Thursday, August 28, 2003

Makin' the big jump

UltimateBet is finally back up and running. They're offering a 50% bonus up to $100. I have $80 in my Neteller account right now, and about $150 in blackjack profits on the way. That'll cover the $200 I need to get my fat $100 bonus.

It's go-time.

posted by Matt 11:45 PM

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

And now, a reply to an editorial

Welcome to an edition of "dueling blog outrage" between myself and 3zy. Here's my entry! Dumbass in Tacoma's comments in bold, I'm in italics.

Have you watched The Cartoon Network with your children lately? If you haven't, and you are a parent or advocate for children, you should read this.

If you're a busybody with nothing better to do with your time, listen to me bitch about something! I need to since I'm not getting enough action at home! My husband seems to be hanging out at the firestation an awful lot and talking to the guys. He comes home with a bunch of money every night, he must be winning at cards!

There is a new cartoon called "FLCL," or "Fooly Cooly." Originating from Japan, this cartoon airs at midnight on The Cartoon Network as part of the network's evening programming called "Adult Swim."

Well, it did. But it's gone now. Rest easy, young crusader. They knew this scathing editorial was coming and pulled it. Never mind that it's on the segment called ADULT SWIM and every single show features a disclaimer warning against kids under 14 watching it.

My husband heard about "FLCL" from some young men in their 20s who found it quite entertaining and told my husband to watch it sometime. When my husband and I turned on "FLCL," we were shocked and outraged.

Good for your husband! He's at least got some friends with a sense of humor.

Had this program been on a channel other than The Cartoon Network and had it been rated "R," we would not have been so alarmed. This program is rated TV-PG. What we saw was nudity below the waist on a teenage girl, kids blowing people's brains out with machine guns, extreme violence and sexual content - all being acted out by adolescent characters. Why has this show been rated TV-PG?

If you knew the first thing about Japanese animation (which you don't), you know that they are the kings of the mosaic. Second, thanks for joining the fallacious "all animation is for kids" camp. Do your damn research. Third, I've watched the series several times through and I haven't found a single gun-related human fatality. Oh, you must mean the episode where they're playing war games with toy guns... or didn't you let your kids have those either?

We feel safe as parents of young teens to allow them to watch television unsupervised even at a late hour because we trust in proper TV ratings and have our family television set with a parental code for anything PG-13 or above. It doesn't do any good for The Cartoon Network to display a parental warning prior to its late-night programming because parental codes don't lock out a show based on that type of warning. What works is to rate a show correctly in the first place.

So it's the V-chip's job to make sure your hyperactive little rug-rats are watching "safe" programming after midnight. Here's an idea... make your damn kids go to bed at a reasonable hour if you're that worried about what they're watching. Oh wait... YOUR KIDS DIDN'T WATCH THIS SHOW AT ALL! It was you and your beloved husband! I'm so glad you're "thinking of the children", but I'd imagine most of the kids you're worried about have parents that actually take responsibility for raising them. You know, unlike your sorry Stepford-wife ass.

Let me say that we are not extremists. We don't try to hide our kids from the real world, nor do we chase down every bad thing in life and try to abolish it or censor it. What we are saying is that this particular show is vulgar and dangerous and could possibly incite violence. We are outraged that it has been rated TV-PG to be openly viewed by kids on, of all places, The Cartoon Network.

What part of "Adult Swim" and "after midnight" don't you understand? And if you have a little girl, I'll bet my poker payroll she ends up knocked up by 18 because you didn't bother to teach her all the "dirty filthy secrets" of the consequences of sex or anything in the real world. But hey, at least a boxing glove won't shoot out of her cooch. As far as inciting violence, I've been standing by the highway all day waiting for an alien chick to crack me in the head with a space guitar so I can get a giant robot to spring out of my skull and smite all those who oppose me. Hasn't happened yet, but I've got a good feeling about tomorrow.

So, children can watch Scooby Doo during the day and at night they can see teenage girls acting out oral sex acts with a lollipop.

I won't even get into the numerous pot references in any given episode of Scooby-Doo. At least if your teenage daughter is learning to give blowjobs she can make some money and maybe make me a loser in my "pregnant by 18" bet. Probably not, though.

When we tried to contact The Cartoon Network, we found that it does not accept phone comments from viewers. We went to its Web site, cartooncomments@ turner.com, and did not find a place to contact anyone at the network. We will, however, mail it a copy of this letter.

Hi, that's not a website, that's an e-mail address. I'm sure you typed it into your Yahoo search bar instead of your Outlook Express. Try again, please. Oh, and enjoy your SoBig.F virus, you computer illiterate fuck-tard. I bet formatting your C: will get rid of it easily enough.

We have been in contact with the Federal Communications Commission, the ACLU and organizations dealing with violence against children. We have been spreading the word to educators and churches to raise public awareness about this incorrect rating.

Well, it's off the air now, THANKS TO YOU AND YOUR CRUSADE! Your power of impotent protest overwhelms me, please call off your dogs! Don't burn me at the stake for taping the series! I look forward to seeing your protest march on the news.

posted by Matt 1:00 AM

Monday, August 25, 2003

Oh Lord have mercy

... because I just stole me some money.

I had slightly less than $40 left in my bankroll. Lost a $25 stake at the pot-limit hold-em table. Decided "WTF, I'm putting my last $13 at the no-limit hold-em cash table". In 10 minutes, I busted out three players, including one of them TWICE to turn my $13 into $91. Right now I'm in a $10+1 PL HE SNG to wrap up the night. If I finish top two, I'll cash out another $50... the second $50 cash-out I've gotten from this most recent $50 deposit.

Rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'.

posted by Matt 3:02 AM

Sunday, August 24, 2003

New experience

After I cashed-out today, I took my remaining $13 and turned it into $37 at the NL cash table. Since I was bored tonight, I figured I'd enter a $5+1 Omaha 8/b (otherwise known as Omaha hi-lo) SNG. It was my first time playing this game for any sort of cash... and I came in 3rd out of 10 to show a nifty $4 profit. Man, I'll take it but I doubt I'll make that game any sort of regular experience. Too much stuff going on to wrap my poor addled head around. Fun way to burn 45 minutes, though.

posted by Matt 3:47 AM

Saturday, August 23, 2003

In the nick of time

I had some struggles with my online play last night, and got beat down to about $72. At this point I figured I should cut my losses and cash out my original $50 to at least break even, and play two last $11+1 limit hold-em SNGs today.

Finished 4th and just out of the money in the first one, but won the 2nd one to get back up to another $50 bankroll. I'll try to limit myself to only two $5+1s or $10+1s a day at PartyPoker while I keep reading up and find out what I did so wrong last night and what worked today. Of course, I'm STILL WAITING for UltimateBet to get their Ultimate Point SNGs going again so I can get some no-limit experience.

posted by Matt 6:27 PM

Meeting the neighbors

Well, this was interesting.

After drinking over half a bottle of Jim Beam black label, I decided to walk to my back porch and see why the fuck my neighbor was making so much noise at 3am. Turns out he's even more of a drunk than me, so we each had two Lemon Drops and two beers, then ate a fuckload of Krystal burgers with his guests. I'm just now going to bed. Viva life.

posted by Matt 6:53 AM

Friday, August 22, 2003

The start of something big?

Bought into a $10+1 sit-n-go at PartyPoker last night. And won. $39 profit right there.

Sat down at the $25 buy-in NL cash table this morning. Ended up $45 to the good.

Today I may try my luck at one of their multi-table tournaments, or just kinda take it easy and read a bit more. I read through Hold-em Poker last night and absorbed a little bit of it. I'll re-read some more today and relax, hop into a game when I feel relaxed. In the meantime, one more big session like that and I can go shopping for some wall art.

posted by Matt 10:14 AM

Thursday, August 21, 2003

And so it begins

I love amazon.com. Today my first two books came... except there were three. For some reason they shipped me TWO copies of Hold'em Poker, plus my one copy of Hold'em Poker For Advanced Players. So I might sell one for a few bucks, or just lend it to a friend. In the meantime, I got lots of reading material now. I'll have more once my SuperSystem book and Poker Theory get here. For now though, it's a great start.

posted by Matt 4:31 PM

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

Didn't even have to use my AK (suited)

... I have to say it was a good day.

Still waiting for my poker books to arrive, should take a week or so. I got my DDR stuff goin' on, as some people have already noted. Otherwise just a perfectly cool day. Wish someone would call me back with a job offer, though.

Quiet on the poker front. My main pastime of playing the Ultimate Point sit-n-gos at ultimatebet.com has been derailed due to server problems on their front. I may dump another $50 into PartyPoker and try and tear up their $5+1 sit-n-gos again tomorrow, we'll see how I feel when I wake up around noon or 1pm. I love the slacker lifestyle, just wish it paid better.

My new wallpaper of the moment... well, it's this for now, but I'd like something a bit cheerier. I may switch it up tonight as I listen to the roughly 40 songs I d/led by The Pillows tonight. If you don't get the significance of either the wallpaper or the music, then I suggest you watch Cartoon Network at midnight EDT to learn. It will change your goddamn life.

I'm off to finish my NCAA '04 season by taking my Tampa St. Wolfpack (10-2) to the Cotton Bowl to meet #6 Oklahoma. Should be a riot (in the fun, non-killing sense).

posted by Matt 2:04 AM

Sunday, August 17, 2003

Winning Ways

Oh lord-a-mercy, what a night. First I cleaned up strong in the aPa XFL fantasy draft. Then I went on to enter four $5+1 sit-n-go tournaments at PartyPoker.com... and WIN 3 of them. That'll nearly pay for the four books I got from amazon.com today...

"Super System" by Doyle Brunson
"Texas Hold'em", "Texas Hold'em For The Advanced Player" and "Poker Theory" by David Sklansky.

Life... is VERY good.

posted by Matt 1:57 AM

Thursday, August 14, 2003

Quick night at the online tables

Went to the ultimatebet.com $.25/$.50 limit hold-em tables. Won $21.85 in half an hour. Left happily. Life... is okay.

posted by Matt 1:34 AM

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

Link update

Do yourselves a favor and visit Wade's blog as soon as you get a chance. He's a good guy who has a tendency toward caustic smart-assery, a trait I fully endorse.

posted by Matt 6:28 PM

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

Comeback of the year

Wow.

I just finished 2nd in a 10-player table at UB.com. At one point I was down to under 200 chips from my starting 1000, then funny things started to happen. I doubled-up twice, waited for a while, got down again, and doubled up again. My all-in on Q-5 turned into a full house (Qs full of 5s), beating out someone else's A-A which became two pair. He was a little pissed off, but he eventually beat me heads-up.

posted by Matt 5:04 PM

Monday, August 11, 2003

I love this game

Re-registered at PartyPoker.com today, just for the sucker value. I ended up at the $50 no-limit table. Won myself to up $25, then dropped it back to even. Then, it happened.

A-A.

I just called the big-blind, but before the flop hit, someone bet out for like $18. I re-raised all-in for my $50, he hesitated and called it. I guess he thought his Q-Q was the best hand, which is right probably 98% of the time. But not against my mighty aces. Five meaningless board cards later, I'm doubled up in cash and walking the hell away.

I love this game.

Edit to add: Oh yeah, I just won another $25 in profit from their $.50/$1 limit hold-em table. Life... is okay.

posted by Matt 12:29 AM

Friday, August 08, 2003

Eh.

Boy, I sure hope that if I stop blogging, no stupid asshole takes over my URL and acts like a retard with it. That would sure suck. I'd be so pissed off I'm not even sure I'd be able to play pinball.

Anyway, played a $10+1 no-limit tournament tonight. 400 players, last 50 get paid. I finished 68th. I foolishly walked into a full house to nearly bust out, then went all-in on A-10 offsuit... by the time it got back to the guy to my right, he called me out with A-A. The results were predictable from there. Still a good time, and I'm learning more every time I play.

posted by Matt 1:16 AM

Thursday, August 07, 2003

Another night out

Went out with a small crowd tonight. I lost at mini-golf (dammit!) but amazed everyone with my mad-phat Dance Dance Revolution skillz. Afterward pizza, wings, garlic rolls and BOOZE abounded at my place while the World Poker Tour was on the Travel Channel. Of course we were missing someone, but that's her loss. Overall, a totally awesome night. Oh yeah, and I found my long-lost tarot cards. Life is goooooooooood.

posted by Matt 1:02 AM

Wednesday, August 06, 2003

Night at the Seminole Casino

Well. They certainly do use every part of the dollar.

First I had to sign up at their board to wait for a place at a hold-em table. The dude ahead of me had to wait like 30 minutes. My beeper went off about 90 minutes AFTER his. But wait... THERE WAS NO PLACE FOR ME! They tried TWICE to seat me at a 7-card stud table, and by the time they figured out the game I'd signed up for 2 hours ago, the spot was filled! So no poker for me.

Turns out that was for the best... for $.25/$.50 limit hold-em, there's a $.25 ante on every hand that goes straight to the house. That's right, a quarter to the house before your cards are even dealt. By the time you get around that and tipping the dealer when you win, there's no possible way to make money there. None. I'm far better off playing online, and will continue to do so. I MAY register for a tournament there once in a while, but there's no way I'm going there on a regular basis.

posted by Matt 2:05 AM

Sunday, August 03, 2003

The Bacon Theory run amok

Friendster is just about the scariest thing in history. I love it. Feel free to look me up and add me, I want to see if I can get my "personal network" over 100,000.

posted by Matt 10:31 PM

Saturday, August 02, 2003

Back again

Yeah, I got moved in Tuesday and online Thursday, but I've been a busy, busy dude. Unpacking books, buying stuff I need, and visiting with some current Floridians. It looks like I'm hitting the local casino Tuesday night. After the hot streak I had online yesterday, I can't wait. I turned my $25 deposit into over $100 over the course of the day. $40 of that is going back into my pocket and with me to the REAL casino this week. Oh yes, there will be a detailed account of that trip when it happens.

posted by Matt 2:11 PM